Overcoming limiting beliefs and discovering that you're never too young to change your lifestyle!

If a person believes they are excessively fat or overweight and wants to shift the excess, unwanted weight from their body, it is commonly understood that they need to change certain day to day behaviours.  This might include a change in the amount of physical activity they engage in each day either in the form of dedicated exercise or increased movement and incidental activity whist concentrating on other tasks, it might include changing they way they eat possibly decreasing processed, fatty, fried or sugary foods and increasing natural vegetables, whole-grains, meats, fish, nuts and seeds etc.  So to achieve this shift in weight, a person has to have a shift in their behavior or actions.  A new awareness of new and different ways to act in every day situations to move past old behavioral limitations and as a result achieve weight, lifestyle or health related goals. 

This seems very simple and obvious and is the common the theme in many weightloss programs.  But in some ways it does no take into account the mind.  When considering a living breathing person, the mind and the body are not separate.  They are different parts of the same person and have a symbiotic relationship. it is the mind that decides when to move the body...or when to act, and the actions of the body in turn affect how the mind perceives the world.

But the mind can only choose to move the body if I believes it can.  If a person believes that there are barriers or limitations preventing them from attempting their desired action then these 'limiting beliefs' will limit new options, forcing the person to continue with existing undesired patterns.  This is where people seem to stuck in 'unresourceful patterns of behaviour'.  Unresourceful, because they know they have other options and want to change, but don't know how to stop doing what they are currently doing.

But although they may seem very real at the time, limiting beliefs are not absolute and they can be overcome.  Einstein proved this with his theory of relativity where he proved that 'Everything is relative'.  Its a matter of discovering a new perspective, or considering a new and different arguement, or getting a sense that a new option feels right or simply discovering that the glass can be half full and half empty at the same time (and it can also be neither of those things and perfectly fine just as it is).

So its important to understand that to achieve a shift in weight by changing their behavior, a person also has to achieve a shift in their mind.  A new awareness of possible ways to think and feel about every day situations.  By discovering a new level of awareness to thoughts and emotions a person has the opportunity to act, or react, or respond differently.  They have new options and new possible actions.

An increase in choice of actions requires an increased awareness of possibilities in the mind.  Expanding awareness of the mind is an expansion of your comfort zone.   We're talking about pushing the limits, pushing past limiting beliefs and expanding the mind

At the time, I didn't really understand how I achieved my shift in awareness that led to me losing weight, but I know it happened on my 21^st birthday.  I was 114kg, which is obese for my body shape and I also believed I was overweight...I wasn't happy with my weight, I didn't feel confident, I wasn't happy with my day to day behaviors, I wanted to cut down my drinking and I wanted to take control of my life.  After years of believing it was out of my control, I somehow came to the realization that it was in actual fact totally within my control and that I could and would do what was required to take control of my lifestyle, disrupt and change my day to day behaviors, disrupt all the social patterns and relationships I had developed around food, exercise and socializing at bars and pubs.  Over the next 6 months I dropped 25kg, from 114 down to 89kg.  I also stopped the heavy alcohol drinking that had been an important part of my life since the age of 15.  I was at university at the time studying for a physical education degree and after 3 years of cruising through university with a minimum of effort, I  signed up for a degree in chemistry and chemical engineering and started training martial arts (Zen Do Kai and Muay Thai Kickboxing) 4-5 days per week.  It's not ground breaking stuff for some, but it was for me and reminded me that anything it possible in this world!

In his remarkable autobiography Life Is So Good, George Dawson - the 103 year old grandson of immigrant slaves - tells the extroadinary story of his rich and wonderful life...and how after 9 decades of illiteracy...he learn't to read at the age of 98.  He was a full time student at the time he wrote the book with Richard Glaubman.

Since my moment of realization, and on the fascinating journey I have had the past 11 years I have lived in Auckland working nightshifts in a winery, lived in California living like the king of Napa valley, lived in London working as a personal trainer and fitness consultant with my own company and am now living in Melbourne.  I have discovered again and again that anything is possible and that lifestyle change happens all the time.

I am now able to explain my realizations clearly.  My realizations are not new or revolutionary - they come from the collective knowledge or consciousness that many other people also understand.  Many, many other people have spent their lives expanding their own awareness and breaking through limitations.  But I believe that I am now able to explain my thoughts well because I am talking through experience. 

I have spent much time learning from other peoples experiences, I can tell you about many teachers and mentors I have had as well as people who I have known who have influenced me, but I have also realized that to provide a story of any use for you, I have had to put my learning into action myself. 

To suggest that you need to expand your awareness I have had to consider my limitations, my barriers and limiting beliefs and then push past them, to discover an expanded awareness of possibilities to then act in new ways which I previously thought was impossible. I have had to push my own mental and emotional boundaries (of which there have been many) and then take new actions that I didn't think were previously possible.  I have had to take these actions myself because authenticity and integrity are important qualities for me and otherwise I would feel like a fraud.

If your body is in control of your actions, and your mind is in control of your body.  Who is in control of your mind?

Who decides what you choose to believe?  Who decides how you choose to feel?

In his book 'The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, Oliver Sachs, told the story of Madelaine J from St Benedicts hospital new New York City in 1980.  Mr Sachs is a highly regarded author and professor of clinic neurology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine.  He introduced her as a congenitally blind woman with cerebral palsy who at 60years of age had been looked after by her family at home throughout her life.

She was a very intelligent woman who was very learned and could speak eloquently but she had never read braille since she had never learnt to use her hands.  She had had all her reading done for her - by talking books and other people.  She explained 'I can't read braille, not a single word.  I can't do anything with my hands - they are completely useless' 'Useless godforsaken lumps of dough - they don't even feel part of me'.

As it turned out, her cerebral palsy had not affected her hands, she had full sensory awareness of temperature, light touch, passive movement and pain.  In his investigation Sachs discovered she had simply always had others do her every task.  She had always been 'babied' as he described it and had just never learnt how to use them.

Not only did Madelaine believe that her hands were useless, she had believed this all of her 60 years.  She had no memory of ever using her hands.  No 'repertoire of memory' or neural map in her brain or what her hands could possibly do.  She had no internal images of what the world felt like to touch and in fact she felt she had no hands at all!

But from his testing, Sachs knew she had the physical ability to use them, so he devised a plan.  He  tried something new, something that had never been done before.  He suggested to the nurse to leave her food, as if by accident, slightly out of reach on occasion...and one day it happened - what had never happened before.  Impatient, hungry, instead of waiting passively as she had always done, she reached out an arm, groped, found a bagel and took it in her mouth.

After the first act, progression was extremely rapid.  She was reaching out to touch a whole new world.  Feeling, exploring of different foods, containers, and faces.  She started to mould heads and figures from clay with remarkable expressive energy and went on to develop remarkable artistic sensibility.

Its a remarkable story and but one of the many examples of the millions of people who are every day learning new skills or changing behaviours that they had previously thought unchangeble.  In the last three decades millions or possibly even billions of people of all ages have learnt to use computers, the internet and mobile phones.  50 years ago, it was common to work for one company for your entire career but now its common to change companies every few years.   

 Expanding awareness

To achieve a shift in awareness, you need to put yourself into a situation where you have the opportunity to address the limitations of your beliefs and behaviors or conflicting parts of your personality, and to consider different options.  A shift in awareness requires an unusual situation, a negotiation where you can notice your limiting beliefs, listen to your inner voice or observe them or get a sense of the emotions that prevent you from doing and achieving what you really want. 

There are many different ways to create an unusual situation.  It might be a physical situation like climbing a mountain, training for a marathon or attending a boot camp class in which you push past your physical limitations and keep going as your inner voice is screaming for you to stop.  It might be a performance situation whereby you ignore and bypass your fears and perform/present in front of a large group of peers whose opinions you respect.  It might be an intimate relationship situation where you speak to somebody in a way that you never thought was possible or discussed a subject that was previously off limits.  It might be a social situation where you behaved in a way that you previously thought was not possible.  Or it might be a personal development situation (coaching, personal development courses, hypnotherapy) where you discuss the beliefs you currently hold (and may have held for many many years) that may be preventing you from achieving your goals with the aim of breaking through them, changing them and creating new - better more functional and useful beliefs.

To change your day to day actions - and to expand options, you need to expand your beliefs.

In the past your mind might have used avoidance tactics, or has been unable to spend the time on inner negotiation.

• First, the person must want to expand their awareness.

• Second, the person has the option to either take themselves through the process of pushing their limits, or enlist the help of a guide. 

If they choose the take themselves through the process, it can be described as the soul (or the source, or unconscious, or intuition) leading the mind.  This requires the ability and tenacity, self determination & commitment to continue through the process all the way through regardless of the internal barriers encountered.

This might seem too difficult for some people, for many different reasons.  If they choose to enlist the help of a guide, therapist or coach.  A guide takes the role of facilitator, or backstop providing the relationship and environment where the person can work through, negotiate and address what they want and what the limitations or conflicts may be that are getting in the way in a positive and resourceful way.

Once the shift in awareness has been achieved, the next step in the process is to figure out how they are going to get there and commit to turning the shift in awareness into a physical reality via change in behavior.

This step in the process is similar to learning a new skill.  There is a well known 4 stage learning model that helps to explain how learning occurs.   

1. Unconscious & Unaware - Don’t know what you don’t know. This stage in the process is the pre-shift in awareness stage.  You know you want to make a change but at this stage you are still unaware what you need to change and how to do it.To move to the next stage you need a SHIFT IN AWARENESS !!
2. Conscious & Learning (incompetent) - Know what you don’t know. Once you have discovered a new level of awareness, you may start practicing a skill and because it is new and different you might realise that you are not very good at it. This is understandable and is a challenging stage. You make mistakes and learn from them & it is the time that you learn the most, because the less you know the greater the room for improvement.
3. Conscious Competence - Know you know You have the skill, but it is not yet consistent or habitual. You need to concentrate at this stage. This is a satisfying stage of the process, however improvement is challenging because the better you get the less noticeable the gain.
4. Unconscious Competence - Autopilot Now the skills are habitual or automatic so that the conscious mind can focus on other things while you demonstrate the skill  

And there was a wonderful story in The Sun Newspaper in the UK this year, By John Coles in which a MUM has lost four stones in weight after being hypnotised into thinking she has a gastric band fitted.

20 May 2009, www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2439766.ece

Marion Corns, 35, paid £780 for five sessions with a specialist hypnotherapist after her weight ballooned to 15st 6lbs.  The treatment involved her being 'put under' and talked through every step of the medical procedure as if she were in a real operating theatre.  At the end she was told her stomach had been shrunk to the size of a golf ball - and her brain has accepted the illusion.

In the four months following the treatment Marion saw her weight drop to just over 11 and a half stone and her dress size from a 22 to 14.  The mum-of-three says she now feels full if she tries to eat anything other than a small portion of food.

Marion, of Whiston, Merseyside, said: "I've tried every other diet and exercise plan the world has to offer.  "I've tried tablets, WeightWatchers, Atkins, Slimfast, milkshakes and even a personal trainer, but none of them helped me.

"Now I am able to shed up to three pounds a week because I believe I've had a band fitted into my stomach.  "Bizarrely, I can remember every part of the 'procedure' - including being wheeled into theatre, the clink of the surgeon's knife and even the smell of the anaesthetic."

Marion underwent the hypnotherapy in Spain last August when she was living there. She heard about the Elite Clinic in Marbella from a friend who used it to give up smoking and discovered they carried out the revolutionary 'gastric mind band' therapy. 

They began with preparation sessions without hypnosis, using a real model of a stomach and a real surgical gastric band to familiarise Marion with the forthcoming 'op'. 

"I am thinner now than I ever have been and if I can lose another stone I will be exactly the weight I want to be.  "I feel like I fit in now. People don't stare at me anymore."   So why does hypnosis work well for some people who want to take on new healthy habits and lose weight?